My Warrior Woman

I know this is shit but bear with me…


I want a strong woman.

A woman who can pick me up

when I fall down;

One I can pick up

When she falls down.

I am strong.

I expect the same.


I want a partner.

A woman who has my back.

A woman with a rifle ready,

A sword drawn,

So that when I make the first strike,

I can count on her to follow-up.


I want a warrior woman.

feisty, strong-willed, Valkyrie

Goddess Athena,

Who won’t take any of my



I’m fighting for her,

But if she’s not fighting for me,

I guess I’ll lower my head.


Friendship is a tricky subject. I really don’t think I have a best friend any more, and frankly it is hard to really consider one when you’re my age due to having to work, study, and pursue hobbies that may turn into something worth while, but friendship is something I would like to achieve again.

My friendships have been few. I’ve had many acquaintances that I have considered friends in the past, but really I would say that I have maybe, at this point in time 3.5. I say 3.5 because I really don’t know. I’ve had “friends” burn me hard in the past, rightfully so for some, and yet there were some who burned me because they were simply shitty people.

Like I said I have probably 3.5 friends. Number one right now is a married friend of mine, who expresses love in such a way that I wonder if she is secretly naive. I have been accused of such naivety myself, but she seems to genuinely seek all the fruits of the holy spirit in such a self-abandoning way that seems extremely counter-productive to living in this shit world–natually I find myself envious.

She has been hurt too, by many, and we share an introversion and weirdness that one could only have with a best friend. But even she is not a best friend, I suppose, fore we don’t hang out that often.

We like to talk theology and philosophy and I always leave her company exhausted, because though I consider myself of above average intelligence, she is hard to keep up with. She has a very deep mind, incredibly empathetic, and I feel like she loves me for me. I can tell her anything. I’d love to find a single woman like her.

However I seem to be more attracted to the bad girl type, or perhaps very troubled. I know that last year alone two women had the unfortunate time of meeting me durin my “shitty months.” Winter is a hard time for me. I’ve never had a real relationship for this reason or that, mostly because my balls hadn’t dropped yet.

Good news, ladies…🙂

But this reall isn’t about me, though I really didn’t know what to write. I could have written about the times I was burned, but I don’t think that would be a good display of what friendship really means to me. My best friend, above, is probably the best illustration… too bad she is married.

I’d love to meet my best friend someday, though. I want to spend my time traveling with her, shooting, and teaching our kids the fundamentals of surviving in a cruel world. Maybe have some place in the country where we can be, semi, off the grid. Grow veggies and take care of ourselves… But I got to accomplish a lot before I can shape that fantasy into reality… Soon…

America the Great

I’d been planning for this moment for years, and it finally happened: the US dollar collapsed. There was total panic, just as I suspected would happen, and the people finally stood up and took back their country from the idiotic politicians, bankers, and business people; we had had enough and it was time to pay.

I hadn’t suffered as bad as the others. I had a family that was approaching retirement, and they had done rather well for themselves. It didn’t matter, however, as now their funds were worthless. Everyone’s funds were worthless… Though I suppose the asshat fuckers who kept so much of their money overseas, so as to not pay their fair share of taxes were probably OK. And I can only presume that they were long gone. They probably saw all of this coming.

So did I. I, however, didn’t have an offshore account that avoided petty conveniences like roads, schools, small businesses, stadiums I could never visit, and the like. I had a lot of debt. From student loans to credit cards, all siphoning my monthly pay, along with my taxes… They were all gone now… I was free.

And while everyone else panicked about how everything was going to change, I laughed and asked, “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

I was prepared. Having no ties to keep me in Indiana any longer, I loaded up my modified Ford Transit Wagon (major loan), with rifles and weaponry, lots of ammo, camping gear, seeds for planting, and several books to pass the time (credit cards).

I threw in all of my clothing in duffle bags and laundry bags. I wore my tactical gear, strapped with a large knife and glock 19, I felt pretty bad-ass.

I had ripped out the seats in the van and hung up a hammock. All I was missing was Roxy, my german shephard, and we would be off to the great forests in California. I would live amongst the wild animals and start a new life, away from everyone…

“I want to show all of my haters love, heeyyyyyy…”

My cellphone is ringing. Who the fuck is calling me?

“Hey man,” said a voice, “What’s up?”

It’s Jonathan… He must be shitting bricks right now.

“What’s up man?”

“Oh nothing… I’ve got some guys trying to break into my apartment!”

Shit… “That sucks… So, I guess the police aren’t coming?”

“No, I tried them first. Come on, man! You’re the only guys I know with like 20 guns.”

“I don’t have 20. I just have 11.”

“Whatever, just come over and shoot these guys!”

I smirk. “What about all your anti-gun shit from before? You won’t hate me if I kill them, right?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Do you have to kill them?”

“Look man,” I said, “The world has changed. I’m different than who I was last week at that party. I’m not saying I’m going to kill them. I’m saying they might bleed to death… Or I’ll kill them… Sorry, this sounded cooler in my head…”

“Dude, shutup and get over here! They are really pounding on this door! I’ve got the furnature up against it; I don’t know how long I can last!”

Whiny bitch… “Alright… I’m coming.”

Chasing Strangers

When I met you, I lost my mind.

Your soul lit a fire in me

that I couldn’t quench

And once it was ignited, it set my

passions ablaze, solely focused on you.


I wanted you more than anything,

and being a clumsy fool, I scared you away.

Thinking that by chasing you I could have you,

not realizing that it made you run harder…

A game of predator and prey…

My passions flared hotter, my anger stirred,

and I pushed harder, trying to catch up.

But you still ran harder!


I’m tired, but this journey has taught me a lot.

I know myself more; I know who I am.

I know I am strong. I know I am worthy

and worthwhile, though you may not see it.

I am not chasing now. I should not have to.

If you want to know me, come and find me!

I still want to know you, I’m just not chasing.

Outside the Window

The sky was bleak, gray, clouds that seemed to go on forever and a threatening thunder-clap that pronounced a storm was rolling in. Jared hated storms. The rain that poured out of the clouds would soak the entire yard, and he would once again be unable to mow his lawn.

It had been an entire month of nothing but rainy skies, the weather refusing to let up its torrential assault. Many of Jared’s plants were underwater; his green thumb wept over all the time he put into his plants. It was truly devastating for him to watch these past weeks.

What was truly sickening was the way that the weather played with him. He would go to there were days when the sun would peek out, and he would pray that the ground would dry up enough, and the wind would push those clouds away, but by the time he was done with his day job, he would be welcomed home to moat filling up in his front yard.

This weather couldn’t last forever. Could it? Global warming? El nino? Y2K? Every weather man had their theory on the plight of the little town of Meadowberry, but Jared began to suspect someone else was at the forefront of this madness.

Down the lane, just a couple of houses down from him, was rumored to live a wicked witch named Aunty Nym. He remembered the day she moved in, showing up in a black hearse of all things and stepping out of her vehicle with a black dress, sunglasses, and a black parasol, her lips and eyes just as dark.

She had a crooked way about her. Quiet and strange. She stayed inside her house, never leaving. Not even to get groceries.

Other than that, there was no suspicious activity. The neighborhood had been calm for years, until a couple of months ago when the Thompson do went missing. And then more recently a swarm of cats lingered on her front lawn. Then they disappeared… And with that came the rain…

Either Jared had a screw loose, or he was on to something, and he was just crazy enough to find out.

He grabbed his shotgun from off the mantle and boldly marched down the lane, braving the storm to go witch hunting. Water whipping his face and soaking through his red flannel shirt, Jared pressed on as the wind seemed to howl and push him back, growling like guard dog.

Her house was fascinating. Black and dark and haunting. It’s windows seemed to glare at his approach. The door so black it looked like a gaping hole in the building. It sent a shiver down his spine and knocked his knees together, but Jared stood tall and stomped up the porch steps, and rapped his knuckles on the door.

It was as if he’d gone deaf. He looked around the front yard. The trees swayed in the wind, but he could not hear it. The sounds of the storm muted. He probed his ear with a finger while the front door creaked open. That he did hear.

On the other side was Aunty Nym, just as he remembered her in all her ghastly glory. She smiled. It seemed like a genuine smile, but there was something wrong. As if her face was not quite right.

“Come in!” she said, “You must be frightfully cold, and oh my! You look drenched!”

She looked him up and down, disregarding his shotgun altogether, and closing the door behind them.

“Let me fetch you a nice warm blanket and a cup of tea,” she said leaving him in a normal-looking living room. He took a seat on a green sofa only to sneeze. And then another sneeze, and another. ‘Funny,’ he thought, ‘I’m allergic to cats, but I don’t see any sign of any.’

He immediately thought of the cats that he’d seen a month back, when his eyes glanced on the coffee table in front of him. There was a dog collar sitting there.

“That settles it!” he said. “She sacrificed the dog and cats to make it rain forever!”

“Oh no!” she said. “You figured me out. But I really don’t wish for it to rain forever. I just hate the sun, so I blotted it out with my clouds made of cats. And I keep those pesky neighbor kids off my property with my windy guard dog…”

“You’re a screwed up lady! And you’ll never get away with it.”

“Of course I will,” she said brandishing a wooden spoon. And with a flick of her wrist, Jared turned into a swanky coffee table.

Peace Prayer

I pray, oh Lord, for your spirit to engulf humanity.

That everyone would see each other without animosity,

And give to one another, with open hearts,

Help each other out, a world of counterparts,

That live among one another, working together.

Without creed or ideal to separate brothers and sisters.

A land of peace, a renewed world of love and goodness,

Without war or violence or greed or abject foolishness.

May your spirit, oh Lord, rest upon the hearts, minds, and souls.

Vibrate within us a need and desire to be holy and full.


Merry Christmas!

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