Friendship is a tricky subject. I really don’t think I have a best friend any more, and frankly it is hard to really consider one when you’re my age due to having to work, study, and pursue hobbies that may turn into something worth while, but friendship is something I would like to achieve again.
My friendships have been few. I’ve had many acquaintances that I have considered friends in the past, but really I would say that I have maybe, at this point in time 3.5. I say 3.5 because I really don’t know. I’ve had “friends” burn me hard in the past, rightfully so for some, and yet there were some who burned me because they were simply shitty people.
Like I said I have probably 3.5 friends. Number one right now is a married friend of mine, who expresses love in such a way that I wonder if she is secretly naive. I have been accused of such naivety myself, but she seems to genuinely seek all the fruits of the holy spirit in such a self-abandoning way that seems extremely counter-productive to living in this shit world–natually I find myself envious.
She has been hurt too, by many, and we share an introversion and weirdness that one could only have with a best friend. But even she is not a best friend, I suppose, fore we don’t hang out that often.
We like to talk theology and philosophy and I always leave her company exhausted, because though I consider myself of above average intelligence, she is hard to keep up with. She has a very deep mind, incredibly empathetic, and I feel like she loves me for me. I can tell her anything. I’d love to find a single woman like her.
However I seem to be more attracted to the bad girl type, or perhaps very troubled. I know that last year alone two women had the unfortunate time of meeting me durin my “shitty months.” Winter is a hard time for me. I’ve never had a real relationship for this reason or that, mostly because my balls hadn’t dropped yet.
Good news, ladies…
But this reall isn’t about me, though I really didn’t know what to write. I could have written about the times I was burned, but I don’t think that would be a good display of what friendship really means to me. My best friend, above, is probably the best illustration… too bad she is married.
I’d love to meet my best friend someday, though. I want to spend my time traveling with her, shooting, and teaching our kids the fundamentals of surviving in a cruel world. Maybe have some place in the country where we can be, semi, off the grid. Grow veggies and take care of ourselves… But I got to accomplish a lot before I can shape that fantasy into reality… Soon…