The Adventures of Taylor Swift: The Quest for the Crystal Tones

When I first met the priestess, I was just an aid in the Queen’s service… Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t know who or what I’m talking about, do you?

In the land of Musica, which is a place far from the land that you come from, music is everything. It IS. It is structure, chaos… every little thing in the world is music. Music is rhythm, emotion, it is everything in the land of Musica.

Those highly gifted in music are called artists. They travel the world performing and bring light into the world…

Well, many do… but I’m getting to that.

Me, I’m not an artist… I am not highly gifted in music. I can’t dance, sing, or play an instrument. In school I was the worst out of all in my class and I was picked on for it. I am very lucky to be in the Queen’s service at all. I still have no idea why she employed me. She says she likes the way I write…

I am simply a scribe. I have little importance to the story at all. I was there; I witnessed everything and I feel it is my duty to recount the tale of the high priestess and the quest the Queen gave her.

Queen Beyonce, a most kind and generous lady of music, against better judgement in my opinion, chose me to accompany the priestess on her journey… much against the priestess’s wishes.

It was a beautiful day, as I remember it. Queen Beyonce was sitting at her balcony, drinking tea and singing with the birds, typical Queenly duties, when a startling discovery was made.

Sabastian, a royal guard, rushed inside the chamber (I was standing in the corner, documenting everything (it’s one of those creepy things I do (can I put a parenthesis inside a parenthesis? ( I hope the Queen doesn’t mind (any of it))))).

“My queen,” he started, panting and huffing, like a man who dealt with a mighty struggle. “There was a mighty struggle in the vault. Someone, a very talented artist, has stolen the Crystal Tones!”

Queen Beyonce gasped. There was no telling what was going through her mind at that moment, but I’m sure it was something like this:

My goodness, without the Crystal Tones, the reign of love and sweetness is in peril. I must send the beautiful high priestess, Taylor Swift, the one with the fiery gaze and lovely legs to find them.

…OK, that’s what I was thinking… But the high priestess is one foxy mama, if I do say so myself…

Queen Beyonce hummed a melody that soothed the guard’s mind, as well as my own, and with a clack of her tap slippers, summoned the high priestess.

The lovely priestess, angelic with her wondrous gaze, knelt down before Queen Beyonce. “My queen, what seems to trouble you?”

“The Crystal Tones have been stolen,” Queen Beyonce said, gravely.

The priestess gasped, with the cuteness of a prairie fairy. “My Queen, without the Crystal Tones, the kingdom will soon be under attack by our enemies.”

“Yes, Priestess,” said Queen Beyonce, “And I can’t think of anyone more qualified to get them back but yourself.”

“My Queen,” said Priestess Swift, “I have my duties here, to you and the people. I can’t leave you.”

“I will be alright, Priestess,” said Queen Beyonce, smiling, “But our kingdom will not if we do not get the Crystal Tones back.”

Priestess Swift knelt down again, with the grace of a swan. “I will do as you ask, my Queen.”

“And take the scribe with you,” said Queen Beyonce.

It was my turn to be flabbergasted, for I have never qualified for such a task.

“My Queen,” I said, “If I leave, who will document your entire day?”

“I’ll… be OK, scribe,” she said, “You need to get some sun and more life experience. You’ll never become an amazing writer if you don’t see the world.”

“My Queen,” protested Priestess Swift, like a beautiful flower protesting a weed, “He will only slow me down and get in my way.”

“Priestess,” said the Queen, “Someone must write down your adventures, so that many can enjoy them… Plus, he’s getting on my last nerve, following me around, taking pictures, writing every little thing I do. I can’t even enjoy cake any more!”

“Hey! I’m standing right here!”

“And now,” she said, “You will stand with Priestess Swift and retrieve the Crystal Tones.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” I said.

And begrudgingly, Priestess Swift took the love-sick scribe on a magical quest to retrieve the Crystal Tones. Little did our heroes know that it would not be an easy mission.

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